Monday, November 17, 2003

I sometimes believe that the most profound passage of Scripture in the Bible is Romans 7. Paul just hits me right in the place where I live when he starts to talk about wanting to do good and not doing it and not wanting to do bad and doing it. I hate sin. I hate the things that keep me from God but somehow I still wind up in the big middle of the same things I have struggled with for over two decades. I can't help but feel so much guilt as I want to do what God wants me to do and to stay away from the things he does not but I always seem to mess up.

I am sick of feeling bad. I want to defeat the enemy and live a full life that is all God wants. Still, just when I think I may have it licked --- boom I fall again.

Thankfully God does not think like I do. He is willing to forgive. My heart must be broken and contrite and Ihave to be sincere in my Godly sorrow but he gives me grace. He doesn't say that it is okay that I am sinning but he does say that in spite of who I am and the sin that so easily entangles me, he is there to show me love.

Today that is good to know. I am hoping that I can keep centered and step back on the road to glory. Pressing on, the grace and love of God welcoming me and my repentence. Even when I do what I do not want to do, God still loves me. Grace, an undeserved gift that I can never understand.

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