Thursday, April 22, 2004

My Mom, Lack Of Money and Why Am I Here?

Jasper Speaks:

It can be so hard to be so far away from our loved ones. My mom is going in for some pretty dangerous testing this week. She is a diabetic who has undergone two amputations in the past ten years. She is the strongest person I have ever known and such a fighter. Now there are some blood flow issues in her "good" (relatively speaking) leg. So they have to do a dye test on her to see where the blockage is and the best way to help it. I know God is in control but I wish I were close enough to be there for her.

Also, my parents are struggling deeply financially. My dad is an inner city pastor. He literally makes $95 a week. That is all. He has pastored the church for 45 years. Now he is trapped in the position because $95 is small but take that out of their income and they really can't survive. He is afraid he could not find another job (he is 74) and so he keeps plugging along at a church that has more than breathed it's last breath. It is hard for me to see that happening. I want to help them financially. Right now that isn't an option as our rent just went up by $200 a month and the promotion my wife was supposed to get at work just doesn't seem to be happening.

I know I am called to be here. Just it never seems to be easy to stay. These feelings make me sometimes feel like I am being a traitor to where God has me now.

I am just more blue because I just got off the phone with my parents. I know God has a plan and my dad just kept saying that he knows the Lord will provide. They have exceptional faith. I just wish I was as faithful.

UPDATE 4-27-04
Mom came throught the procedure great. They are going to have to do an angioplasty sometime very soon. She goes to the office on Tuesday May 3rd and we should know more then. Thanks for the support and prayers!