Monday, October 11, 2004

Things I Wish I Could Forget

Jasper Speaks:

So to celebrate Columbus day, my best bud in Maine, Nate and I went to go see a matinee showing of "The Forgotten". The previews made this look interesting and Anthony Edwards of ER was a co-star so that piqued my interest.

We should have heeded the bad movie omens as they came. We arrived at Smitty's Cinema (formally Chunky's) and sat down. Smitty's is a cool dinner movie theater so we ordered two low-carb lunches as we are both trying to South Beach it these days. Our meals arrived only a minute or so before the previews began. The first of those was the Ben Affleck Christmas movie that also looks good in the previews. The next two were interesting but I thought odd choices to be shown before "The Forgotten" because they were both for upcoming animated movies. One was about robots and the others about funny penguins in the Zoo. So then the familiar Dreamworks logo comes on and we see the boy fishing from the moon and I sit back to get comfortable. The next thing I know, there is an animated worm on the fishing hook and boom --- were under the sea!

Suddenly I realize we are watching the beginning of "A Shark's Tale". I look over at Nate and ask, "Are we in the right theater"? He bounces up and rushes out the door. He returns and says, "It says the Forgotten outside." Perplexed, I stopped eating my ribs and started wondering if I had been somehow been drawn into the wrong theater by Jefferey Katzenberg and the other Dreamworks owners so A Shark Tale would stay number 1. The people in front of us turn around and say, "Isn't this supposed to be the Forgotten?". I am very confused by this time. Suddenly the film stops and we wait about 10 minutes and a waitress comes in and says, "Sorry we put in the wrong film". I just began to feel very sorry for the parents of the 8 year olds who were all set for cartoon fishes and got Julianne Moore on a swing instead.

Anyway, I thought, "This isn't all bad. I can eat my ribs in the light at least!" (I am currently on a positive kick). Anyway I finished my meal and we begin to see the projectionist working frantically to get the movie going. The lights dim and MORE PREVIEWS. More appropriate ones though I don't remember them now --- I have forgotten (Snort! Snort! -- I crack myself up).

Anyway, the music swells and we see that finally, the correct movie is in place. We see a sweeping scene of Central Park and the camera coming in from above on Jullianne Morre on a swing when --- Crack! POP! WRRRRGRRR! The film breaks! Okay, so how many signs do I need to see before thinking that maybe I should have rented the movie 1492 and made popcorn for Nate instead? I am beginning to think that the ghost of Christopher Columbus iss haunting the theater and wanting us to celebrate our country's discovery in a more regal fashion.

However, dead Mr. Columbus did not win. After about another 10 minutes (45 minutes after the showtime) the movie began again. About thirty minutes later, I found myself wondering how A Shark Tale was coming along. This was a really bad movie. I had read in reviews that the movie had the most shocking twist since The Sixth Sense. I must have missed that part. I had the whole thing figured out pretty much all along. Basically, it was a run of the mill suspense flick. Actually I am pretty certain I saw this story once on the X-Files but can't confirm that.

All in all it was a nice day to spend with my good friend. It was something to get my mind off the fact that there is an elder's meeting tonight I don't want to go to. Maybe I can say aliens abducted me and I can get out of it ... hmmmm ....

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