Monday, December 13, 2004

How Long Oh, Lord

Jasper Speaks:

So, I have some advice for those of you who are in the process of leaving your current ministries. This is especially for those of you walking a long the path of resignation without another ministry job with me. Do not go on a road trip with a group of your favorite students two weekends before you are going to leave!

What an incredible weekend I had. I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning talking heart to heart with three great guys. It was so great to share our hearts together. The laughter, the seriousness, the advice handed out, man it is why I love being a Youth Pastor.

Therein lies the rub. I am grieving the death of my career. I am grieving the passing of God allowing me to be employed in my passion. The whole point of our road trip to Rhode Island this weekend was to go and see
Lost and Found in concert. This is a group I am absolutely certain my kids would have NEVER heard of if it hadn't been for me. It was an amazing concert. We had a wicked good time. Then on the drive home we were listening to a Lost and Found CD and my kids favorite song, Lions, came on and they started singing at the top of their lungs. We cranked the music up and they sang louder and I sat in the driver's seat and started convulsing in choppy sobs. Thankful for the darkness and for the loud music as it kept anyone but Kendra from noticing that I was completely losing it. I cried and cried hard. I have so much love for these kids and for youth ministry in particular and last night somewhere along I-95, I realized that it is all really coming to an end. The result? A 35 year old man crying like a 4 year old girl. Not pretty.

Then tonight the crying came again as my sister called me on her cell phone from the Steven Curtis Chapman/Casting Crowns concert and held the phone up as they sang, "The Voice Of Truth". So as I am missing my sister, missing the concert and realizing that I am no longer a youth pastor, I became overwhelmed again and ended up locked in the bathroom, sobbing again. Man, I am such a girl.

Well that is all the great news on the Jasper front. Please pray that I will be better not bitter.

1 comment:

Todd Porter said...

i will be and am praying for you!

thank you so much for that advice, it made me cry just thinking of leaving the place i am at now! a 31 year old man crying like a little girl, i can not imagine what it will be like when the end comes for me.

i know the feelings about the guy named "don", because i have someone breathing down my neck to take my job. but my sp thinks this will be a good thing and he has not been involved in student ministry for 4 years and admits to not really having a calling to it! but the sp is okay with that!