Thursday, June 23, 2005
A Good Day
So, yesterday was a really, really good day. I got editing done for Youth Group and thought this WUS episode was very good. Then I finalized my message on the first on the list of Fruit of the Spirit --- Love. The afternoon brought our group playing The Blue Gnu at the mall. This is kind of a Hide and Seek game in that there is someone planted wearing blue and the kids have to go up to anyone wearing blue and ask them if they are The Blue Gnu. They can't tell the people why until after they have answered the question. My sister, Darla, was The Blue Gnu and we all had a great time playing.
Then we went back for The Edge. Our usual worship leader was off and so some of the girls led and did a great job. During that time we sang How Deep The Father's Love For Us and I just found myself completely overwhelmed by the power of the lyrics and the sense of awe as I stood contemplating that Jesus bore my sins for me out of His great love. It was just the heart preparation I needed for speaking.
The message went very well. I think it was much better than last time. I just felt the presence of God so much and could sense Him giving me the words to speak. I know that is how it is supposed to work but last night it seemed it worked better than it has in a long time. I was convicted by my own words and could sense ways God was dealing with me.
The hard part is this just all gives so much more desperation to be back into full-time ministry. I don't want to be anything other than a Youth Pastor. This is who God made me to be. I am desperate to be able to go back in with full force. I will never take it for granted again. Godspeed is perfect and I am witning on His timing. I think yesterday came as a sign of hope that God will open that door again to me.
Mostly, I am just in awe of the fact that God loved me enough to die for me while I was still a sinner. He loves me enough now to discipline and guide me. His love is deep. I am so undeserving and He is so wonderful. I am glad I was reminded of that fact again.