Friday, October 17, 2008

Jasper Speaks:

So, as I sit in my office this morning I am thinking about mortality. Maybe part of it is because I have turned 39 this week. I had a very nice birthday. Even though it was a Wednesday and very busy, I had lunch with my favorite sister, got gift from my wife I really wanted and the kids showered me with love at Reality Check. Still, 39 is kissing my 40s. That seems SO OLD. I can remember being a kid and thinking that I would be 30 in the year 2000 and thinking that was ancient. Now I am nearly a decade beyond that.

Then today I got a phone call from my brother. His best friend's 38 year old son died suddenly last night. Mortality. It makes you think about what you are contributing to the world. If today is my last day am I leaving a legacy behind? I look at my wife. Am I loving her so much that I am truly earning my place as the love of her life? Am I loving my son as he deserves? Am I teaching him to be a godly man even at his young age? Am I the son and brother that is leaving his mark? Am I the pastor that is leading in such a way that my ministry will survive long after my life has ended?

Even now, my iPod is playing Elijah by Rich Mullins. I want to go out like that. I want to leave in a chariot of fire that is consumed with the relationship I have with God. I want to be so ready to go that I just shut my eyes in this world and trust God to usher me into the next.

Mortality. It is something we all will have to face head on at some point. I pray that I am doing all I can to make the most of my life. I pray that I am somehow, in my unworthiness, striving for a life worthy of God's grace for today.