Saturday, March 21, 2009

Jasper Speaks:

Two years ago my life changed ... completely. On March 19, 2007, God gave me a son. Jackson came to live with us permanently on that day. In just two years he has become the center of our world. I am so proud of how smart he is. At two and three quarters he knows his alphabet, can count almost to twenty, knows his colors and can make a gazillion animal sounds.

He has taught me so much about love. I know I cannot fathom the Father's love for us, but when I think about how much I love my son, I get a small glimpse of how deep that love is. I cannot imagine giving my son to die for someone else. It is something I could never do. When I look into his big brown eyes, my heart melts. How could you ever give that away? It is crazy to think that my love for him is only a tiny fraction of God's love for me.

I remember so much about the past two years. I remember how excited I was when he first came. I remember waiting for him to crawl and being so excited when he did. I can remember longing for that first conversation and being overwhelmed when it came (even though I am fairly sure it was about Curious George or something deep like that). Our first family vacation and watching him giggle in glee as we rode the tractor and the train.

There are so many things I love about being Jackson's daddy. I love to hear him belly laugh. I cannot help but join in. I love to hear him say "Hi Daddy!" when I get him up in the mornings. I love the times he insists that I read to him. I love the rare times he quietly crawls into my lap and cuddles while sucking his ever comforting finger. I love how excited he gets on Sunday mornings when he first sees me after church. I love his high pitched neigh when we ask him what sound a horse (his favorite animal) makes. Mostly, I love him. I am humbled God chose me to be his example.

So, Two years ago we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We had no idea that a little boy was going to capture our hearts and steal them away forever. We didn't know that family would become the most important part of all we do. We had no idea how much this beautiful, funny, sweet, smart little creature would change our lives. We had no idea how unworthy of this showing of God's grace to us we really were.

Today, as I hold Jackson in my arms, I hope I have a moment when I can remember what seems almost impossible to recall. Life without him. In that moment I pray that I will appreciate today and the gift it, and my beautiful baby boy are. May the years go by slowly and may I let each day simmer in my heart as I watch this beautiful gift grow into a wonderful man of God.

1 comment:

L.L. Barkat said...

Parenthood. Nothing like it. A gift, to grow us and show us that love is more beautiful than we ever thought.

Saw you at CPYU and just stopped in to say thanks for your comment there.