Monday, March 09, 2009

Jasper Speaks:

In way of an update, my meetings with my friends really helped today. Especially my time with my friend from high school. When I accepted my call to ministry God told me I had to purge myself of the friends with whom I lived in compromise. I have always thought that God led me in that direction because those friends pulled me down. Today I had an epiphany.

Separating was much more about me than them. You see, they were sinners acting like sinners. No judgment here from me. I love them all and they weren't supposed to act differently. I was. The Lord knew that I was not strong enough spiritually to to remain their friend. I was the weak one. Leaving that group of friends was not about the horrible influence they were on me, it was about the lack of influence I could be on them. God knew that I was in deep inside this spiritual wasteland. I was responsible for me and what I was doing. I look back now and see that time not so much as them being separated from me but me being separated from them. The pull away was because I was not as strong as I needed to be in Christ, not that they were bad for me. I always looked at from the wrong perspective.

I can't tell you how much seeing my friend today refreshed my soul. He actually is planning on visiting our church soon. That is cool. Most of all I just want to be his friend again. I realized today that I missed him. A lot. It was good to sit over coffee and talk about the paths our lives have taken and how similar and different they have been. It is so amazing to me how God can take a bad day and make it a great one. That is so cool.
Jasper Speaks:

I have been having one of those up and down times lately. Wednesday night was incredible as we saw the Lord moving in the lives of our students. Still, I can't shake this bad feeling I have. We had a long weekend at the church and that, along with DST, has me really tired. I am so in need of a break. It is coming at the end of next month. I wish it would get here quicker.

I often wonder if I am the only one to get the blues so easily. The others on my staff mostly seem to have it all together. They seem to be even keeled and happy most of the time.

I think the shooting at FBC Mayville yesterday is affecting my mood too. It could be any of us on any Sunday at any church. I just met the YP from that church last weekend. I can't imagine how you pick up and go on at a time like that. I know God gives you the strength but man, how hard can that be?

Well, on an up note, I am having lunch with a college friend followed by coffee with a high school buddy. I am hoping these things will help me break this horrible mood.