Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jasper Speaks:

Two years ago today, my mom died. I miss her still. She was such a godly woman. She literally loved EVERYONE. To a fault. She made ordinary and less than ordinary people feel special. Even today, I still wish I could pick up the phone and talk to her. I would love for her to calm me down about stresses and to rejoice with me in all that God does.

My wife's aunt told me when my mother died that losing your mother is something you never get over. A little depressing to think about, but I am sure it is true. She gave you life. She loved you without condition. She is your biggest cheerleader and intercessor. She is a reflection of Christ and His love. When that is gone from your life, a hole remains.

I think about how my son will never really know her. He was 18 months old when she died. She loved him so much and I still carry around some guilt for not doing more to make sure they saw one another more. He will never know that she loved him so much. He will never remember her smile or her laugh. He will never hear her pray for him.

Still, life has gone on. In some way today is easier than last year. I still feel an ache to be with her. I try to rejoice in the fact that we will be together again someday. As I sit in my office and look at a picture of the two of us on my wedding day, I remember that she loved my wife, child and me in ways no one else ever will. I miss her but know that she is walking the streets of glory and one day, I will join her in praising Jesus for eternity.

I love you Mom.

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