Monday, March 08, 2010
Preparing or Doing --- Which is More Important?
So, I am enrolled in Seminary classes. I am a full-time Youth Pastor. I am a husband and father. I am the son of a dad in pre-Alzheimer's. There is a lot going on. I am not sure what I will do when I "grow up". I have been a Youth Pastor for twenty years and still love it. However, I know that someday I will have to move on to something else. So, that is why I am in seminary.
I started seminary 16 years ago. I went a semester. Then God called me back to my home church ministry. I know He did that. When I look back on the story God has written in my life I have no doubt I was supposed to leave seminary at that time. I even ended up getting a second bachelor's degree that God used to provide my job for the few years I was out of student ministry. Still, I wish I could have finished back then. I wish I could have finished before life really happened. I feel overwhelmed by it now when I am surrounded by all my other responsibilities.
I know that completing my degree will open doors for me post student ministry. I am just not able to commit in the way I think is best now. I feel like I half do my work. This semester my classes are particularly hard. I am scared I won't be able to do it all.
The question I have is, at this point in my life, is it more important to plan or do. I am doing ministry all the time and seminary is so peripheral to me. There is so much going on that I seem to never have the energy to do homework. I know learning and expanding my theological education is important but I am worn out by the time I can devote to my studies.
So, do I drudge on and try to do this or do I give in to my life being hectic and quit? I am confused but I want to do what is right in the long run. It is just a bit of a frustrating time. Sigh. I know that God will help me do it all if he wants me to do it all. Today, I am just having a hard time deciding which is His will. Not complaining. Just seeking.