Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I SHOULD KNOW BETTER

Jasper Speaks:

In an ill fated attempt to stay relevant, I decided I would log into my Amazon account and download a best seller. I chose Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. It stuck out to me because it is set in my home state of Missouri and Ben Affleck has been in a small southeastern town in our state filming the motion picture version of the book. My curiosity was peaked. I greatly regret that decision.

Gone GirlGone Girl by Gillian Flynn
My rating: 0 of 5 stars

I cannot say enough about how bad this book was. The book is full of gratuitous profanity, unbelievable scenarios, and basic geographic inaccuracies. There is not a redeemable character in the book. You hate both Nick and Amy and never care for either.Go, Nick's sister is also a hard hearted soul with whom you never engage. Amy's parents are repulsive. Even the cops are annoying. It is a poorly contrived book that does not deserve the exposure it is getting. There are giant convenient moments that make no sense throughout the novel. One thing I couldn't put out of my head is how does Amy get away with buying a car on craigslist and then driving it through at least two states with never having the car placed in her name or tagged? Seems like a hole to me. Also, Flynn's description of Hannibal is inaccurate. The downtown area has many shops that are still open and thriving. It is not a downtown area with for rent signs in most windows as Flynn describes. Although Flynn is from Missouri, the areas she tries to describe are nothing as she writes them to be. I live in Missouri and particularly in the areas the book tries to represent and her descriptions are laughable at best.

Amy's plot against her husband is contrived and thoroughly unbelievable even by soap opera standards. The major plot twists are ludicrous and not even plausible. The ending is ridiculous and has so many errors in details that a bad crime procedural on network TV wouldn't try to get away with such malarkey in one of those first suspects you know is brought in too early on the episode to be the bad guy moments. I have no idea why this book has received any acclaim. I would never recommend it to anyone. Please do not waste your time. This book is overlong and not satisfying. At the half way point the book should have ended and it would have been 75% better but still pretty bad.

My next book will take me back to reading that glorifies God. I am ashamed I wasted time with this. If this is what it takes to achieve relevancy, I guess I will stay irrelevant.

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