One of the issues that comes up as you wait to adopt is that you start to miss a child you do not yet know. It is an odd phenomenon for someone who has never experienced it. For those of us who have, it seems reasonable and natural. You see, like biological birth, when you first find out about adopting the anticipation begins. You start to wonder what your child will be like. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will it be healthy? How will you prepare for his or her coming? Then you realize that the time when your family will be complete is a very long way off. That is when the missing begins.
Unlike biological birth, adoption has no clear timeline. There is no waiting nine months and a new life is welcomed into yours. It can sometimes take years for adoptions to complete. After placement the missing gets harder but even before, you miss this dear child you have not yet seen.
We are at the start of the missing stage. As the realization that we are going to be parents again is sinking in, we are beginning to wonder what blessing God will give us. We know that very likely our child is already born. He or she may be in dangerous situations that are affecting their mental and physical health. We know we have no control over these things that could very well affect our family for years. These concerns only amplify the missing.
Adoption takes a lot of trust. Trust in the agency. Trust in the country of origin. Trust in the orphanage. But mostly it takes trust in God. He has a plan. Before the foundation of the world he chose this child to be a part of our lives. His timing is perfect and He stands ready to hold our hearts in His hands through the miss.