Thursday, September 18, 2014

Missing You 

Jasper Speaks

One of the issues that comes up as you wait to adopt is that you start to miss a child you do not yet know. It is an odd phenomenon for someone who has never experienced it. For those of us who have, it seems reasonable and natural. You see, like biological birth, when you first find out about adopting the anticipation begins. You start to wonder what your child will be like. Will it be a boy or a girl? Will it be healthy? How will you prepare for his or her coming? Then you realize that the time when your family will be complete is a very long way off. That is when the missing begins.

Unlike biological birth, adoption has no clear timeline. There is no waiting nine months and a new life is welcomed into yours. It can sometimes take years for adoptions to complete. After placement the missing gets harder but even before, you miss this dear child you have not yet seen.

We are at the start of the missing stage. As the realization that we are going to be parents again is sinking in, we are beginning to wonder what blessing God will give us. We know that very likely our child is already born. He or she may be in dangerous situations that are affecting their mental and physical health. We know we have no control over these things that could very well affect our family for years. These concerns only amplify the missing.

Adoption takes a lot of trust. Trust in the agency. Trust in the country of origin. Trust in the orphanage. But mostly it takes trust in God. He has a plan. Before the foundation of the world he chose this child to be a part of our lives. His timing is perfect and He stands ready to hold our hearts in His hands through the miss.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Faith Over Fear

Jasper Speaks:

Many emotions surround adopting. There is, of course, excitement. You can hardly wait for the time when you meet your child. There is joy as you think about life with this new person. There is love brimming over for someone you have yet to meet. That love is hard to explain to others but has already begun to invade your soul.

There is also fear. There is fear of the unknown. There is fear that you will not be able to raise the funds. There is fear that all the money could be for naught and somewhere along the way, something will go wrong and you will not bring your child home.

Adopting takes a lot of faith. You have to move along in the process because you believe God has brought you to this place. It is similar to walking into a dark, unfamiliar room. You are stepping slowly and cautiously hoping that everything will be all right. So many questions fill your mind. Some nights you lie awake and wonder how in the world all this could actually come together. The financial burden alone is overwhelming. You pray that you are not being a nuisance to your friend and family. You seek out as many ways as you can humbly ask for help. You fear losing people in your life because you have approached them for money to help you.

As an adoptive father, I know it is worth the fear to live in faith. I am reminded of that every time I kiss the forehead of my wonderful son. As I sit with him on my lap sometimes, I think about what his life would have been like if he had not come to our home. Then I think of how empty our lives would be without him. In these moments I realize that, yes, adoption is a scary thing. However, I realize that adoption changes lives. It has changed my son’s life.  It has changed mine.

God’s Word is resplendent with the power of adoption on a spiritual level. It is a visual reminder of God’s love for us.  The Bible also tells us that perfect love drives out fear. As I go to bed tonight, I am certain that there will be adoption fears as I close my eyes. My prayer is that my faith in the God who is in charge of this journey will outweigh those fears. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Our Adoption Journey So Far

Jasper Speaks:

In 2007, we became parents. God gave us a wonderful son through adoption through the foster care system. He came and completed our family in a wonderful way. We have learned so much about God and ourselves through this miracle. We have had many people ask us if we would adopt again and we always said we did not know for sure but we would be open to doing so. In 2011, Kendra woke up from sleep with a deep burden to adopt again. This time God planted a burden for international adoption in her heart. Jasper prayed about this and quickly felt the same burden.
When our journey began we thought that the country we would pursue was Haiti. We knew several people adopting from this country and knew the need there was great. We prayed and considered God’s call to this country. As we prayed and started doing research, we did not feel like God was opening the door to Haiti. This halted our pursuit for a while as we sought after where God would have us go. One night we were talking with our son and we asked him what he would think about getting a sibling. He told us he would like our new child to be dark skinned like him. Since we had a connection to Ghana, we also considered adopting from there. The more we researched and prayed we could not gain a peace about Ghana either.
Jasper continued seeking an adoption agency that could lead us through this process. He found a website for European Adoption Consultants. As he talked with the staff of EAC recommended Uganda. The more research and prayer that we pursued, the more we had a peace about Uganda. We found out that it is a majority Christian nation and gives preference to Christian families. We also found out the need in Uganda is great. There are 2.9 million orphans in Uganda. The more we found out about Uganda, the deeper our burden for this country grew. We have grown certain that Uganda is the place where our child lives.
We had this call confirmed as God miraculously provided our first $3500 in less than twenty-four hours. Now we are at the second stage in our financial journey. We need to raise another $2000 to secure our home study that will let our placement process begin. We know that God has been faithful thus far and we know that although by the time we are finished this adoption will cost well over $20,000 there is hope. As we receive funds, the entire process could be complete in 18 months. God is in this and we know He will provide for our family to be together soon.

To see our progress or to give to our fundraising check out our funraising page: