Before He Knew Me
The other day my son Jackson and I were riding together to church. At nine Jackson is starting to ask questions about his adoption. We are very open with him and answer as many questions as we can. This night he was asking about what it was like in our lives before he came. That led me to talk to him about our hearts as we waited for him to be ours. I told him, “Son, I want you to know that I love You before you knew me. I only knew your name and I began praying for you. I prayed you would be safe and that if God saw it fit to give you to us, we would gladly offer you back to Him for any service He wanted for you.”
Jackson looked out the window for a minute, deep in thought. “I didn’t know you but you loved me?” He asked.
“Absolutely!” I said. “Every day that I prayed for you, God gave me a deeper love for you even though you hadn’t even met me yet.”
Quickly the conversation turned to the latest exploits of Iron Man and Captain America but my thoughts became lost in our conversation. I loved my son before he knew me. Before I held him, I loved him. Again, I was overwhelmed by the picture of God’s love for us that we see in adoption. Just like I loved Jackson before he knew me, Jesus loved me before I knew Him.
One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Psalm 139:16 and I think is sums this concept up in a powerful way:
Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.
Jesus loved me so much he gave up His life for me before I knew Him. He knew my name. He knew that I would live a sinful life. He knew I would reject him time and time again. Still, he loved me.
As I look forward toward bringing another child into our family through adoption, I can tell you I love that child who does not know me. I am so grateful that I serve a God who loved me before I knew Him as well.